Uncomfortable, Not Dangerous
Use the phrase “This is uncomfortable, not dangerous” to label intense feelings. Remind yourself that you can “ride the wave” of emotion until it passes.
Use the phrase “This is uncomfortable, not dangerous” to label intense feelings. Remind yourself that you can “ride the wave” of emotion until it passes.
Accurate labelling helps the brain distinguish between a physical threat and emotional stress, which can lower feelings of alarm and reduce intensity.
Create a personalized short phrase that feels true to your experience, such as “This is just adrenaline” or “Feelings are not facts.”
Overview
This skill focuses on **Distress Tolerance** and **Cognitive Reframing**. When people experience high stress or anxiety, the body often reacts as if there is an immediate physical threat to survival. This is known as the “fight-or-flight” response. However, most modern stressors (like exams, social situations, or difficult memories) are not physically dangerous, even though they feel intense. By distinguishing between “discomfort” (an unpleasant feeling) and “danger” (a threat to safety), individuals can change how they relate to their anxiety. Evidence suggests that resisting or fearing the physical sensations of anxiety tends to make them stronger, while accepting them as temporary waves of energy allows them to subside naturally.
Understanding the Guard Dog and Wise Owl
The Guard Dog
The Amygdala lives in the basement. Always on alert. Reacts fast to keep you safe, but sometimes barks at things that aren't really threats.
The Wise Owl
The Prefrontal Cortex lives upstairs. Thinks things through, makes plans, and helps you make good decisions—but needs a moment to wake up.
Think of the brain as having two main modes: the **Guard Dog** (Amygdala) and the **Wise Owl** (Prefrontal Cortex). The Guard Dog’s job is to ensure survival. When it senses a threat, it pulls the fire alarm, flooding the body with adrenaline to prepare for action. It does not distinguish between a tiger (danger) and a difficult math test (discomfort). To the Guard Dog, all stress feels like a life-or-death emergency. The Wise Owl is the logical thinker. It can assess the situation and see that while the math test is stressful, it will not physically hurt you. When you use the phrase “Uncomfortable, Not Dangerous,” you are helping the Wise Owl speak directly to the Guard Dog. You are acknowledging the alarm (the discomfort) but clarifying that no evacuation is needed (no danger). This helps the Guard Dog stop barking and allows the body’s alarm system to settle down.
How to Use This Skill
This technique acts like a “label maker” for the brain. It helps sort experiences into the correct categories so the nervous system knows how to react.
Notice the Sensation
A student notices their heart starts beating very fast as they walk into the exam hall.
Why this helps: This step involves **Interoception**, which is the ability to sense signals from inside the body.
Label the Experience
The student thinks, “My heart is racing. This is uncomfortable, but I am safe. It is not dangerous.”
Why this helps: This is called **Affect Labelling**. Research shows that putting feelings into words diminishes the response of the amygdala.
Ride the Wave
The student takes a deep breath and waits for the adrenaline rush to settle, rather than leaving the room.
Why this helps: This relies on **Habituation**. Emotions are chemical surges that naturally metabolize and fade if they are not fueled by more fear.
"**The Trigger:** You are sitting in a crowded cafeteria and suddenly feel hot, shaky, and overwhelmed. **The Thought (Guard Dog):** “Something is wrong. I’m going to pass out. I need to get out of here right now or something bad will happen.” **The Breakdown:** * **Fact Check:** You are sitting on a chair. You have felt this before and didn't pass out. You are safe. * **The Reframe:** “This is just a false alarm. My body is reacting to the noise.” **The Action:** Instead of running away, you stay in your seat. You say to yourself, “This is uncomfortable, not dangerous. I can ride this wave.” You focus on your breathing until the heat passes."
Try to imagine yourself in this situation as you practice the skill.
You can practise distinguishing between discomfort and danger in small ways every day. **Cold Water:** Splash cold water on your face. Notice the shock (discomfort) and remind yourself it is safe. **Exercise:** When your heart races during sports, label it as “working hard” rather than “something is wrong.”
Pro Tip: The more you try to stop the feeling, the stronger it often gets. Trying to “allow” it is often more effective.
This skill is recommended because it interrupts the feedback loop between fearful thoughts and physical sensations. This works because labelling the emotion activates the prefrontal cortex, which dampens the activity in the brain’s emotional centres.
Key Research Points
- Reduces Avoidance: By learning to tolerate discomfort, people are less likely to avoid situations they find stressful.
- Builds Confidence: Realizing you can survive uncomfortable feelings builds a sense of resilience and self-efficacy.
Research-based evidence supporting this skill
This approach is grounded in **Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT)** and **Dialectical Behaviour Therapy (DBT)**. It draws on the work of researchers like Dr. Matthew Lieberman (neuroscience of labelling) and Dr. Marsha Linehan (distress tolerance).
Books & Manuals
- Linehan, M. M. (2015). *DBT skills training manual* (2nd ed.). Guilford Press.
- Weekes, C. (1969). *Hope and help for your nerves*. Signet.
- Siegel, D. J. (2010). *Mindsight: The new science of personal transformation*. Bantam Books.
Peer-Reviewed Journals
- Lieberman, M. D., et al. (2007). Putting feelings into words: Affect labeling disrupts amygdala activity in response to affective stimuli. *Psychological Science*, 18(5), 421–428.
- Craske, M. G., et al. (2014). Maximizing exposure therapy: An inhibitory learning approach. *Behaviour Research and Therapy*, 58, 10–23.
Websites & Online Resources
- Anxiety Canada. (n.d.). Riding the wave.
- Centre for Addiction and Mental Health (CAMH). (2020). Coping with stress and anxiety.